I grew up without a dad. But I did grow up with many father figures.
My dad was never in my life. He wasn't even in the delivery room when I was born. Drugs and unstable living conditions rocked his world.
My mom always made sure though, despite being a single mother, that I was taken care of and protected.
As I got older my mom worked more and I didn't really have anyone that showed me what a man truly was...until I was about age 5. My moms friends' brother kinda took me under his wing.
His name is Travis. Travis loved me as his own son and was my first example of a Father Figure. He fed me. He clothed me. He cut my hair. He loved me unconditionally. And he protected me. When I was with Travis I always felt safe.
Travis introduced me to his brothers DeWayne, Devon and Tyshon. The same feeling happened with them. I always felt loved and protected when I was with them.
Travis, DeWayne, Devon, and Tyshon were the first Father Figures in my life.
Without being exposed to that type of love (outside of my mom of course) but more importantly protected at such a young age, I don't think I would be who I am today.
In my teens I had my close friends Billy and Jimmys' Dad (and Mom) become a Father Figure too. I would say he was the neighborhood Father Figure. Fixing bikes. Fixing Scooters. Ordering Pizza. Making sure all the kids got home safely.
When I started dating my boyfriend (now Husband) PJ, his dad showed the same love and acceptance to me as if I was his own. He was another example of a Father Figure.
As I got older, other Father Figures started to appear in my life.
But instead of protection, it showed up as guidance.
In my 20's, I had Kevin and Adam who were like my business Father Figures. If I call and need some help, they always pickup. If I have an idea they are willing to support it.
In my 30's, I have Jeremy who is not only a friend but someone who pushes me to be the highest level of my self which is something a Father would do.
This might be weird to call someone a Father Figure and they aren't blood related, but to me, a Father is a man who cares about others. He shows grace. He believes in you. He guides you and protects you even if its from your own self.
If you were to look up the definition of a father figure you'd see:
A father figure is an older man who steps into a role of guidance, support, and protection, serving as an emotional substitute for a biological father. They are often a source of wisdom, helping someone navigate life decisions and offering a sense of stability and authority.
We need more Father Figures in this world. We need more men to step-up to the plate to show other men examples of what it means to be someone who cares deeply about others.
I may have grown up without a dad, but I have many Father Figures.
I write this to say thanks. Thank you to the Father Figures who continue to support me and give me guidance in times of darkness.
It never has or will go unnoticed.
